Beauty is truely skin deep..or is it???

This is a blog post that is pretty close to my heart…and has emanated from an animated three way discussion I had with two of my closest friends- Will call them A and S. The subject matter of our conversation was pretty stilted with both of them taking turns at shouting at me, disagreeing with me and then trying to make me understand a concept so alien to me that I am still having trouble grasping at the tentacles though I think I do get the spirit of what they tried their best to drill into me.

The argument was pretty simple- it was to do with the definition of beauty. I said, my sister cos she is thinner and fairer is pretty and I given the fact that I am not thin or fair am…well…not pretty. A disagreed. The concept of beauty is inside not the outside she said. Not in the preachy tone of “beauty is skin deep’ , but more like its all about how you carry yourself tone. Her belief is pretty simple. The way you look has more to do with your sense of self confidence, the way you carry yourself and a knowledge of your body and what looks good on you.

I still don’t think I agree cent per cent. I mean despite what she said, I know for fact that no matter how good I feel on a given day or how ugly a thin fair girl looks, she would still be fair and thin and I would still be fair and well… not thin. So the point is…our society, the Indian one, or maybe even the world over has certain definitions of beauty. Dark skin is not usually a barometer of that which is beautiful. Ok ok!!! I agree…there are examples like the numerous models in India that are totally dark, even darker than me and are still pretty. But they are thin right??? Im getting all muddled up in my though process, but all im trying to do here is figure out a simple thing. Is beauty about the way u feel…does self confidence reflect in the way of glowing skin? Do we look our prettiest when we are happy and confident and smiling??? Why is it then that all of these women who do not eat at all are still pretty? I mean u cannot possibly be happy on a perpetually empty stomach now can u??? And what about the ‘oh sooo old’ fair n lovely debate? The entire industry dedicated to making us look good cannot just be flying in the dark now can it? There has to be some substance to all of this abuse.

I have way too many questions as ever. But few answers that are most possibly all wrong. Of everything that I have heard about about beauty, the thing that I understand most is that if one is supremely and utterly confident of the person one is, looks and intellect, then no matter what the world (or for that matter mirror) says every morning, everything becomes irrelevant. The idea therefore is the pursuit of that place of utter security, and confidence where one would no longer need validation or approval from others in order to feel good about one self. The idea is to make oneself feel so good about one’s own self that there is no space for anyone else to make you feel inferior. The others including your mirror as well. The idea is to love yourself so fucking much that you would no longer need someone else’s love to feel happy, secure or complete. The idea is to be happy just cos u can. Difficult I know but is it impossible as well??? Im gonna try nonetheless.